"I admit it's getting better, a little better all the time"

it's been tough.

A lot of my friends have been growing into strong, beautiful people. [a.k.a. Katy Conti.] I really hate seeing my old friends slowly, sometimes quickly, going straight down the tubes. I see people who used to cherish God and everything that he says smoking pot and breaking their so-called edge. I find it pretty pathetic.

Especially a certain someone who was a bestfriend since 8th grade who I hardly ever see and when I do I think that he probably won't even remember seeing me that day due to the fact that he was on some type of drug or completely wasted. It makes me really upset knowing that when he says "I miss you, can we please hang out soon?" I know that we won't whether I make the effort or not. 

But I just love seeing my friends changing for the better.

My two completely depressed friends, don't seem as sad anymore. I see her smile and laugh at school and although I don't ever see the other I will occasionally talk to her and she seems so much better than she used to be.

One person in particular I would not want to see now, we have grown so much apart it would be awful to see what he has become now. I just want to remember him with all the wonderful "first" memories that we had.

But other than that, the friends that I have now, are very good.

I always have the best analogies....

Like taking care of a dead rabbit. It's still cute and nice and soft. And you can love it and take care of it but it won't give you anything back. It can't love you back anymore than it did before it died.

it doesn't matter if you don't understand,

I do.

it makes a difference.

Things are changing, I can see it,  I can feel it.

it's getting colder.

sometimes everything is easier with some lyrics..

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain,

I like watching the puddles gather rain,

And all I can do is just pour some tea for two,

And speak my point of view but it's not sane,

It's not sane,

I just want someone to say to me,

I'll  always be there when you wake,

You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today,

So stay with me and I'll have ti made,

And I don't understand why I sleep all day,

And I start to complain that there's no rain,

And all I can do is read a book to stay awake,

And it rips my life away but it's a great escape.